Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in sarah's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, March 6th, 2004
1:03 am	I love Jill <3 I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. I love Jill. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
3:01 pm	Have you ever met somone so perfect that they make your heart stop? I did. And he's all mine Unbeleivable (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 24th, 2003
10:20 pm	RoswellGirlJill: start now take out a picture of me and cute a construction paper heart out and paste it on the back and remember all the good times we had at daisies RoswellGirlJill: and me telling kaily she could call god on the pay phone (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 22nd, 2003
1:03 am	The withering tree of my life I am only a grain in the sand. That's what I was once told and that is what seems to be the truth. But I was also once told that each individual has a purpose here on earth. It's hard to beleive the second with a statement like the first to contradict it. But if I am only a grain in the sand of this world, just another face, just another body, than doesn't that mean that I am worthless? The words I write, they are worth nothing. Nobody will ever truly care to read them. My smile...what good is it? Nobody will ever understand the meaning of it. And is there any meaning? There is meaning to me alone. What good is that? There's no use in anything I do. If I am here to satisfy me and only me, to work only on comforting myself, than i'm sorry but that's not good enough. To live for me and only me just isn't enough. I need to reach out. And I need to be needed. I need to have a purpose. I need to be heard, to be treasured, to be understood. So i'm sorry but I don't see the point to living. I'm at a loss. I'm crying and i'm on the verge of screaming. What am I supposed to do? I refuse to pretend like so many do. I won't tell myself fairy tales to make myself feel better. I won't lie to myself and tell myself that I am somebody and that I am here for a reason. Because the people around me make it clear that i'm not. I'm not noticed. And i'm sure many of my friends would be quick to jump in and defend themselves if this were read. But they don't understand what I mean. That's just it; they don't understand me. Nobody actually tries. And i'm sorry but yes I do expect them to. I do expect to be treasured and valued. I do expect to be put on a pedistal. I do expect for them to take the time to understand me. To take the time to love me. I cherish every person I know. More than I probably should. I see each person like a wife sees her husband. I memorize people. I learn their habits, their fears, the crease of their smiles. I spend hours exploring any source they give me. If they write, if they dance, or if they simply talk. Even if they're the type who can't talk. I take the time to understand. And I find every one of them to be so amazing. I know it's strange. I know that others don't see people this way. But I do. And I know it might be wrong to ask and so I don't ask. But I wish that someone would treasure me the same. Each and every person is a branch on the tree and if I don't see that warmth toward them than the tree is not so. If the tree is not so than the air is not so and then..I am not so. I simply want a purpose in life. I want to be loved. (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 15th, 2003
1:31 am	It rushes over me like sap from the great tree Sticky and hot It endevours my soul My body is buring, my eyes cannot see I am shaken of innocence I am drawn to my knees My eyes shine the color of periwinkle But my heart is black as the night sky when she cries I know that with every step i'll stumble I watch my muses as they tremble with fright (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 8th, 2003
10:43 pm	Beautiful wings of silver and white Blue eyes to conquer the grey Red ribbon draped across your skin Rose petals deep in your hair A wind blows across the sky and you lay still Ribbon tingling your nerves, scents of yesterday tickling your nose Cold chills embrace you and your body warms A heat, a releif fills your body Hands grow limp Beautiful wings of silver and white Spread across the floor of defeat (Comment on this)
10:36 pm	Dreaming of you in the night You told me I would be alright But then you hung your head and died You let go of hope How am I to understand My mind can't comprehend You said that I would have beleif But then you let yours end I'm not gonna be alright My mind is sinking down again I'm not gonna be alright Maybe I should seek my end Beleif is but a memory Hope is but a sin I need you here to hold me To say the word alright again (Comment on this)
3:57 pm	I'll be alright I'm starting to stabilize again. Sorry if my last entries didn't make any sense. I must state one thing: I am insane. I have issues. The words "emotion wreck" really should be put on my medical record. All should know this upfront, the second they meet me. Thanks to those of you who still love me anyway. I am at an emotional break right now but i'm coming down and i'll be alright again soon. Thank you for understanding. And thank you especially to Luis for reminding me that i'm still me. (Comment on this)
2:10 pm	I've always felt that i've failed people. Jill knows me better than anybody in the whole damn world. But I am never there for her like she is for me. She never needs me. And if she does than i'm not very good at being there. She's not an emotional wreck like me. Luis I could never touch. He put up such a wall. I couldn't understand him. And I alwyas felt like I should be able to find a way to get to him and help him. I never could and I felt like such a failure. I'm breaking down today. I don't know why. I've been uncontrolably crying for a good hour. I just woke up that way. Jill tried to help. But I guess she had to go. It's alright cuz I didn't know how to explain things to her. I don't know where to start. I just feel like a fuckin failure all the time. And I don't feel like i'm myself anymore. I don't like a thing about me anymore, and others steer clear of me. I really wish I could see Jill. I need her so badly. Luis tried his best to help. He said a lot of things that surprised me. He told me that of course i'm still myself. I'll always be me. That he'll always know me. That i'll always be the girl he met and loved in high school. And he told me that I never failed him. But I know I did. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Still trembling and crying. I need to figure this out but I don't know where to start. There are so many damn things going wrong in my mind. Things I need to sit down and sort out and talk about. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where to start. I'm not strong enough to do this. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:59 pm	Jill I need you (Comment on this)
1:58 pm	"There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort." -Jane Austen (Comment on this)
12:36 pm	I just want a fuckin hug. It sux that that's too much to ask for these days. And I know it's pathetic but sometimes I really do just want to curl up and die. I can't do this. I don't care what people say. I'm NOT strong. I'm NOT capable. I'll always be that little odd child who keeps failing (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 1st, 2003
2:53 pm	Standing by, All the way. Here to help you through your day. Holding you up, When you are weak, Helping you find what it is you seek. Catching your tears, When you cry. Pulling you through when the tide is high. Absorbing your voice When you talk. Standing by when you learn to walk. Just being there, Through thick and thin, All just to say, you are my friend. - Brittani Kokko - (Comment on this)
Friday, October 31st, 2003
5:42 pm	definetaly the lamest things i've ever heard. but i've gotta try to have some halloween spirit Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties ? Because there is lots of school spirit ! What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party ? The cat are her ! What do witches eat at Halloween ? Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie ! A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head. "Are you a ghost ?" asked his friends "No, I'm an unmade bed !" Another boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head. "Are you an unmade bed ?" asked his friends "No, I'm an undercover agent !" What did the really ugly man do for a living ? He posed for Halloween masks ! Why did the ghost go trick or treating on the top floor ? He was in high spirits ! What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ? No one moved, they couldn't stir without her ! Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party ? Because he just came to pick up his sister ! Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party ? Because the feathers were still on the chicken ! Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 30th, 2003
1:37 am	Oxi-Morons 20. Government Organization 19. Alone Together 18. Personal Computer 17. Silent Scream 16. Living Dead 15. Same Difference 14. Taped Live 13. Plastic Glasses 12. Tight Slacks 11. Peace Force 10. Pretty Ugly 9. Head Butt 8. Working Vacation 7. Tax Return 6. Virtual Reality 5. Dodge Ram 4. Work Party 3. Jumbo Shrimp 2. Healthy Tan 1. Microsoft Works (Comment on this)
Monday, October 27th, 2003
11:53 am	My LiveJournal Sitcom Living With myblusky (HBO, 8:30): myblusky (David Bowie) bakes 500 cookies for a bake sale, but easyannasarah (Rosie Perez) eats them all. In the next town over, tonymisiano (Jane Krakowski) gets in trouble with the law when robo_pump (Courteney Cox) discusses coats with an undercover cop. Soon afterwards, caliegirljill (Sarah Jessica Parker) auditions for a movie starring opposite blairthedevil (Rosie Perez). Hilarity ensues. What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern) (Comment on this)
11:47 am	home Our hometown is buring up. Fires are taking over my home. I'm sooo ready to go home. (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 25th, 2003
12:41 am	btw that cookie icon makes me hungry every time I see it. (Comment on this)
12:32 am	my soccer buddy I need a reason to smile tonight. So of course, I think of Jill. Duh! Who else would I think of? Really, you didn't think it would be someone else did you? Anyhow, I was asked the other day how I met my best friend. And I thought about it for a whole milisecond. I remember how I met Jill. She was my soccer buddy. It was freshman P.E. and our couch put us all out on the soccer field. But neither Jill nor I are much for soccer so we both just kinda stood there in the middle of the feild and directed the ball with our minds. Our coach commented on it and we joked about how we were the official "ball watchers". Then we ended up sitting next to each other in spanish class. And then Jill invited me to her birthday party. Omg, I think it was her 15th b-day. Can you beleive that? Damn, we were young. Ever since then we've been friends. aww, much thanks to whoever invented the awful sport of soccer. Current Mood: somewhat cheered (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003
1:04 am	Story Time!! Okay so once there was this cute guy names Erik and two cute girls named Sarah and Jill. Hehe. Er should we use code names? Too late for that. Jill can correct it as fits. So anyhow one day Jill and Sarah were getting dinner after work and they had a bit of time to kill. It just so happened that Erik worked down the street at the Round Table Pizza. So Jill had a crazy idea to go and see if he was working. Ya know, she wasn't really going there to see him...she umg needed a menu. Yes, they both needed a menu. So the girls drove to the back of the store toward the employee parking lot to seek out his car (hey I know what you're thinking but every girl has a bit of stalker in them). It just so happened that as they were pulling into the parking lot he was pulling out. Uh oh, what were the girls to do? Like a shadow in the dark night the girls followed him.. ya know, just for something to do. The guy led them out into Jamul. WTF? Did he live all the way out in Jamul? There was no way he could know he was being followed. Simply no way. After about 20 min. into Jamul he turned down a dark street toward some really rich houses. Omg, did he live here?? Then suddenly the girls lost sight of him. Where did he go? They pulled over and turned around and decided that the fun was over and that they'd better get back before they got lost. But then he popped out of a driveway. Omg!! Did he pull over on purpose? Did he see them?? The girls covered their faces as best they could as they waited for what seemed like forever at a stop sign waiting for traffic to clear. Then as soon as he turned right they turned left and sped off giggling sooo hard that they couldn't ever breathe. Aww good times. Yeah so Jill and I have a freaky side. so what? (1 Comment |Comment on this)